Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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