that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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