I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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