his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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