Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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