I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
