There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
