I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize