you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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