I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
