It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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