she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
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