nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
