Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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