I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
