He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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