he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
