he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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