There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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