You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
