Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
