I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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