I didn't shave. On purpose
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
