i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
