question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
