allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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