I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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