How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
