Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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