It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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