You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is it penis luge time yet?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
