The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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