he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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