you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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