So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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