i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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