Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's never too late to be topless.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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