I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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