Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
