Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
