In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
