absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
