you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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