She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
