so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
