I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
