I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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