Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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