yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
