hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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