These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
